When Sexual Education Becomes a Weapon of Exploitation
WHEN BOYS DON’T TALK ABOUT SEX | A DISCUSSION
Content Warning: This piece discusses sexual grooming, manipulation and abuse
CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR WHEN BOYS DON’T TALK ABOUT SEX
Setting the Scene
In an era where studies indicate 60% of teenagers report learning about sex primarily through social media and online content, the vulnerability of young people to sexual exploitation has never been more pressing. While educational institutions struggle to provide comprehensive sex education, predators increasingly position themselves as "mentors" willing to fill this knowledge gap. "When Boys Don't Talk About Sex" exposes how sexual curiosity becomes a weapon in the hands of abusers, following 15-year-old Asher's relationship with an older woman who uses his musical ambitions and desire for maturity to exploit him.
The "Education" Facade
Monique's character represents the sophisticated predator who weaponizes a young person's natural desire to appear mature. From their first encounter in her club, she establishes herself as a worldly mentor figure, using her position of power as the owner and her apparent sophistication to create an illusion of "safe" sexual education. Her line - "You're mature where it matters..." - encapsulates the manipulative validation of his desperate desire to be seen as grown while simultaneously marking him as prey.
The Grooming Progression
The film charts Asher's exploitation through scenes that mirror documented grooming patterns:
THE INITIAL HOOK
The first meeting establishes Monique as a potential music industry mentor, creating a legitimate reason for their connection. She cultivates an adult environment in her sophisticated apartment, validating Asher's artistic ambitions while subtly beginning to sexualize him. Her careful attention to his rap demonstrates how predators often master their victims' interests to build trust.
THE POWER PLAY
The "coin game" sequence demonstrates classic grooming tactics in action. What begins as a seemingly innocent drinking game (though the innocence of this considering Asher’s age is immediately in serious doubt) evolves into a calculated method of control. Monique creates special rules known only to them, making Asher feel chosen and privileged. The game's structure - where she decides the stakes and consequences - establishes her dominance while maintaining a facade of playfulness that masks the serious boundary violations taking place.
THE TRAP
The progression of intimate scenes traces a careful path from seemingly consensual exploration to clear abuse. Initial encounters with Monique positioning herself as a sophisticated mentor/lover, essentially teaching Asher about adult pleasure. This evolves into increasingly controlling behaviour - using restraints and implementing drinking rituals disguised as sophisticated behaviour. The wine glass ritual, where she forces Asher to drink his own bodily fluids, serves as a haunting metaphor for how thoroughly she's corrupted his understanding of adult sexuality, particularly with her response to Asher’s protestations that it isn’t “sexy” being “how would you know?” - she is well aware of Asher’s lack of knowledge/maturity and is exploiting this.
Behind the Lens
The film's production team worked closely with intimacy coordinator Vee Zuri to ensure scenes conveyed the horror of grooming without becoming exploitative. Visual motifs emphasize the power imbalance - Asher's school uniform contrasting against Monique's sophisticated apartment and the recurring image of wine glasses representing false maturity.
A particularly effective technique is the 6-week time jump, showing how Asher's personality and demeanour have shifted under Monique's influence. The transformation of their intimate scenes from nervous excitement to mechanical compliance highlights the psychological impact of sustained abuse.
A Wake-Up Call
The film serves as a critical examination of how society fails young people - especially young men - regarding sexual education. When Asher attempts to explain his "relationship" to his best friend Eric, saying "She makes me drink wine and stuff... all the time... it's sexy innit?", we witness how thoroughly his understanding of healthy sexuality has been warped. This moment emphasizes how predators exploit the vacuum left by inadequate sex education.
Moving Forward
This film demands action on multiple fronts:
EDUCATIONAL REFORM
Schools must develop more comprehensive sex education programmes that address consent, healthy relationships, and power dynamics. These programs should create safe spaces for young people to learn about sexuality without shame or judgment.
PROFESSIONAL TRAINING
Educators, youth workers, and other professionals working with young people need enhanced training to recognize grooming patterns and respond appropriately - for both girls AND boys. This includes understanding how predators use legitimate interests (like music in Asher's case) as access points.
MEDIA RESPONSIBILITY
The entertainment industry must examine how it portrays age-gap relationships and challenge the romanticisation of power imbalances in sexual relationships. "When Boys Don’t Talk About Sex" demonstrates how film can address these issues without sensationalization.
BOYS ARE VICTIMS TOO
A shift to ensure that the significant risk boys face in this area - particularly as when revealed it is often championed and celebrated by their peers and even older people in their communities - must be recognised. The film highlights just how damaging these relationships can be for young men and boys and how easily they can fall prey to them.
SUPPORT SYSTEMS
Organizations working with abuse survivors - known or unknown - need better resources to recognise and address the specific trauma of sexual grooming. This includes understanding how predators use education and mentorship as covers for abuse.
The film stands as both a warning and a call to action - challenging viewers to recognize how sexual education can become a weapon while demanding better protection for young people exploring their sexuality.
